I decided to move back in the house, spent my first night last night.  I spent all day cleaning and moving things around.  My land lord painted the living room and bed room while I was visiting in Florida.  It looks pretty good, but my house feels so empty.  For a long time I enjoyed being single and having things my way.  I don't feel the same anymore.  Being here alone hurts like hell.  Guess it's just part of adjusting.  I went to see a psychiatrist today. well a nurse to find out basic info about my medical history.  So they made me an apt to come back and talk to someone.  They asked me if my husband wanted to do marriage counseling.  Seeing how is he living with his girlfriend that is not going to happen.   Wonder how you can love someone 13 years and completely cut that switch off?  Somebody didn't give me that memo.  Never did I realize you have to be someone's mini me for a marriage to fall apart.  All I can figure he is was not happy with himself and it was much easier to blame me.  There is no way the grass is greener on the other side of the fence!