Today has been a tough day emotionally for me.  I wish that it was not because I actually got good news.  I am getting help with my car that I wrecked.  I am very thankful for the help.  I went to the doctors office twice today one for my back, and one for support.  I don't really know what to do bc I recieved a total of 5 prescrptions.  The good news is I got an appt set for to speak to a therpaist.  This is something I really need to do.  Most people I have spoke with know my husband and I both and have a hard time giving advice.  They are just blown away that we are not together.  It will be nice to have an outsider looking in to help me.  I hope that one day he will want to help himself.  Today we talked and he tried to calm me down.  I figured out today that I will just have to take what he says with a grain of salt.  When he actually puts some action into motion then maybe I can beileve him. 

I feel frustrated that I still have not heard anything from my boss.  I am dying to pack, and get out of this place.  An adventure is something that I need.  A place to find my self, a place to relax.  As much effort as I put into my job I have gotten one reward for it.  I have 30+ days of paid time off.  My sick days have been storing for a while.  I will finally be able to use them, and my plan is to use as much as I can.  I feel that I am going stur crazy, no matter where I go I feel trapped. 

When I return from my trip I hope to feel relaxed, and have a plan for what to do with my life.  This is something I will be doing alone.  My very first adventure.  Sure I have been on trips, vacation, but they have always been planned.  This trip I have no idea where I will go, who I will see, and I feel so much peace and comfort in that thought. 

Tomorrow I will be taking my very first dance lesson, this is something I have wanted to do for a while.  I hope that I do not find out I have two left feet.  Anyone reading this wish me luck.